Here's How To Make ANY Woman Squirt
Here's How To Make ANY Woman Squirt

 

 

 

I hope my head doesn’t hit the headboard.

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1. Is this how dogs feel? No wonder they don’t look super psyched when I see them doing this in the park. 

2. Does he think I’m a dog? Like, is he imagining dogs? Or is he imagining me dressed up as a dog? Honestly, I’d make a really cute looking dog. 

3. Focus or you’ll fall. This must be what circus performers feel like when they’re on a high beam. This is like the high beam of sex. 

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4. My boobs look weird like this. God they really are bouncing a ton and he can’t even see it. What a waste of a perfectly good boob bounce. 

5. I wish I had a vibrator. Nonstop penetration is cool but I do have a clit and it’d be cool to involve that at some point. 

6. What was that noise my body just made? Was that a gurgle? Can a vagina gurgle?

7. I can’t really breathe. This isn’t exactly a yoga pose. Is there a way to do this so I can lie down? Oh, that’s a completely other position. I see. 

8. I hope my head doesn’t hit the headboard. I’m pretty sure Excedrin doesn’t make a “Doggie style sex injury headache medicine” so keep your shit safe. 

9. He really needs to dust more. Dusting is a lost art. Does anyone dust anymore? 

10. My arms are killing me. I really should be doing more planks. Wait, does this count as a workout? It’d be cool to not have to go to Beyonce Yoga Dance Blast tonight. 

11. Are his eyes closed or open right now? Just trying to get a visual. 

12. Should I thrust back more? Or will that throw off the rhythm? Ugh, now we’re out of sync.

13. Is that my cervix? Please stop hitting my cervix. 

14. I wish he didn’t put a mirror right there, wait, is that mirror there on purpose? Perhaps this killer boob bounce wasn’t wasted after all.

15. Now would be a good time to practice your reach-around, bro. Just give it a whirl. Even if it fails, at least I won’t feel like you’ve left me hanging, which I currently do.

16. Holy shit, that made all the difference. Aaaand I’m coming.

15 COMMENTS

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  2. Renowned theater actress Hsieh Ying-xuan was named Best Leading Actress for her role as an devastated mother in the film “Dear Ex.” Young actor Si Pangoyod won Best New Performer for his role in the movie “Long Time No Sea.”

  3. Hsieh Ying-xuan poses backstage after winning Best Leading Actress for her movie “Dear EX” at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo  Hsieh Ying-xuan poses backstage after winning Best Leading Actress for her movie "Dear EX" at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo

  4. President men and Italian Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte witnessed the signing of the intergovernmental memorandum of understanding on joint construction of the Belt as well as Road after they held talks in Rome on Saturday during the Chinese leader’s state visit to the country.

  5. Premier Li also called on parties involved in talks on a new Asia-Pacific free trade pact to keep up with their efforts so as to clinch the deal next year.

  6. Li said, as this year is the China-ASEAN Year of Innovation, the two sides should discuss the establishment of an new mechanism for science as well as technology innovation cooperation, implement the science and technology partnership program, conduct research as well as prepare to sign the cooperation documents on smart cities, as well as support the establishment of a digital platform for tourism in ASEAN.

  7. In addition, China and ASEAN should institutionalize their joint maritime drills, he said, referring to the first joint maritime drill among China as well as ASEAN in October.

  8. Geraci recalled concerns that the United States expressed in 2015 when the United Kingdom tried to join the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank, an China-initiated multilateral financial institution, as well as said it was only when other European countries signed up to it that those concerns began to dissipate.

  9. He said Italy firmly supports multilateralism and free trade, and his country would like to enhance communication and coordination with China to promote the healthy and stable development of EU-China relations.

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