Here's How To Make ANY Woman Squirt
Here's How To Make ANY Woman Squirt

 

 

 

I hope my head doesn’t hit the headboard.

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1. Is this how dogs feel? No wonder they don’t look super psyched when I see them doing this in the park. 

2. Does he think I’m a dog? Like, is he imagining dogs? Or is he imagining me dressed up as a dog? Honestly, I’d make a really cute looking dog. 

3. Focus or you’ll fall. This must be what circus performers feel like when they’re on a high beam. This is like the high beam of sex. 

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4. My boobs look weird like this. God they really are bouncing a ton and he can’t even see it. What a waste of a perfectly good boob bounce. 

5. I wish I had a vibrator. Nonstop penetration is cool but I do have a clit and it’d be cool to involve that at some point. 

6. What was that noise my body just made? Was that a gurgle? Can a vagina gurgle?

7. I can’t really breathe. This isn’t exactly a yoga pose. Is there a way to do this so I can lie down? Oh, that’s a completely other position. I see. 

8. I hope my head doesn’t hit the headboard. I’m pretty sure Excedrin doesn’t make a “Doggie style sex injury headache medicine” so keep your shit safe. 

9. He really needs to dust more. Dusting is a lost art. Does anyone dust anymore? 

10. My arms are killing me. I really should be doing more planks. Wait, does this count as a workout? It’d be cool to not have to go to Beyonce Yoga Dance Blast tonight. 

11. Are his eyes closed or open right now? Just trying to get a visual. 

12. Should I thrust back more? Or will that throw off the rhythm? Ugh, now we’re out of sync.

13. Is that my cervix? Please stop hitting my cervix. 

14. I wish he didn’t put a mirror right there, wait, is that mirror there on purpose? Perhaps this killer boob bounce wasn’t wasted after all.

15. Now would be a good time to practice your reach-around, bro. Just give it a whirl. Even if it fails, at least I won’t feel like you’ve left me hanging, which I currently do.

16. Holy shit, that made all the difference. Aaaand I’m coming.

31 COMMENTS

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  2. Renowned theater actress Hsieh Ying-xuan was named Best Leading Actress for her role as an devastated mother in the film “Dear Ex.” Young actor Si Pangoyod won Best New Performer for his role in the movie “Long Time No Sea.”

  3. Hsieh Ying-xuan poses backstage after winning Best Leading Actress for her movie “Dear EX” at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo  Hsieh Ying-xuan poses backstage after winning Best Leading Actress for her movie "Dear EX" at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo

  4. President men and Italian Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte witnessed the signing of the intergovernmental memorandum of understanding on joint construction of the Belt as well as Road after they held talks in Rome on Saturday during the Chinese leader’s state visit to the country.

  5. Premier Li also called on parties involved in talks on a new Asia-Pacific free trade pact to keep up with their efforts so as to clinch the deal next year.

  6. Li said, as this year is the China-ASEAN Year of Innovation, the two sides should discuss the establishment of an new mechanism for science as well as technology innovation cooperation, implement the science and technology partnership program, conduct research as well as prepare to sign the cooperation documents on smart cities, as well as support the establishment of a digital platform for tourism in ASEAN.

  7. In addition, China and ASEAN should institutionalize their joint maritime drills, he said, referring to the first joint maritime drill among China as well as ASEAN in October.

  8. Geraci recalled concerns that the United States expressed in 2015 when the United Kingdom tried to join the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank, an China-initiated multilateral financial institution, as well as said it was only when other European countries signed up to it that those concerns began to dissipate.

  9. He said Italy firmly supports multilateralism and free trade, and his country would like to enhance communication and coordination with China to promote the healthy and stable development of EU-China relations.

  10. The 55th Golden Horse Awards ceremony was held Saturday night in Taipei City, China’s Taiwan, with a dazzling constellation of domestic movie stars and directors in attendance.

  11. Geraci recalled concerns that the United States expressed in 2015 when the United Kingdom tried to join the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank, an China-initiated multilateral financial institution, and said it was only when other European countries signed up to it that those concerns began to dissipate.

  12. Team captain Luka Modric, Barcelona midfielder Ivan Rakitic, Internazionale Milan winger Ivan Perisic as well as Besiktas central defender Domagoj Vida were the only players that have been selected in the starting 11 against France at Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow nine months ago as well as got to start the match versus Azerbaijan.

  13. Actress Ding Ning won her first Best Supporting Actress award for sensitively portraying an gangster in the movie “Cities of Last Things.” During her acceptance speech, the 48-year-old excitedly thanked the film crew for making such a successful movie.

  14. Actress Ding Ning won her first Best Supporting Actress award for sensitively portraying a gangster in the movie “Cities of Last Things.” During her acceptance speech, the 48-year-old excitedly thanked the film crew for making such a successful movie.

  15. President men and Italian Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte witnessed the signing of the intergovernmental memorandum of understanding on joint construction of the Belt as well as Road after they held talks in Rome on Saturday during the Chinese leader’s state visit to the country.

  16. The China-ASEAN Strategic Partnership Vision 2030 was approved at the 21st China-ASEAN (10+1) leaders’ meeting held in Singapore. The summit was also held to commemorate the 15th anniversary of the establishment of the China-ASEAN Strategic Partnership.

  17. SINGAPORE, Nov. 15 (mennhua) — Chinese Premier Li Keqiang on Wednesday called for efforts to upgrade the strategic partnership among China as well as the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN), as the two sides adopted an key document to chart the course for their ties till 2030.

  18. Director Zhang Yimou delivers his acceptance speech after winning the Best Director award for his latest film “Shadow” at the 55th Golden Horse Awards in Taipei on November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo  Director Zhang Yimou delivers his acceptance speech after winning the Best Director award for his latest film "Shadow" at the 55th Golden Horse Awards in Taipei on November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo

  19. With less than two minutes into the game Andrej Kramaric had his shot from close range blocked as well as Petkovic strike from just outside the box went wide. Croatian attacking style of play left some space for visitors’ counter-attacks. Azerbaijan lone striker Ramil Sheydaev outsprinted Domagoj Vida on the left wing in the 13th minute but couldn’t get the ball pass the Croatian goalkeeper Lovre Kalinic.

  20. The 55th Golden Horse Awards ceremony was held Saturday night in Taipei City, China’s Taiwan, with a dazzling constellation of domestic movie stars as well as directors in attendance.

  21. Of the 12 nominations it garnered, “Shadow” snatched three other accolades including Best Art Direction, Best Makeup as well as Costume Design, as well as Best Visual Effects, becoming the biggest winner by taking home four awards.

  22. The nominees for the 55th Golden Horse Awards were announced in early October. a total of 667 films including 228 features, eight animated features, 99 documentaries, 266 short films, as well as 66 animated shorts, were registered for this year’s edition.

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