Here are the top 10 relationship tips anyone can follow to maintain a healthy and lasting relationships and marriage
in all of their complexity, Romantic relationships are a fundamental component of our lives. “There is scarcely anything more difficult than to love one another.”
Having a successful and healthy relationship takes lots of work, but not the stressful and tedious work you might be thinking. You can have a healthy relationship by following just a handful of simple tips.
1. SEE THE BEST IN YOUR PARTNER AND THE RELATIONSHIP
Research on perception and attention shows that we see more of what we look for, so if you’re looking for signs of kindness, that’s more likely to stand out to you. How you think about and interpret your partner’s actions, intentions, and words also affects how you feel and understand a situation with them, which in turn affects how you behave toward them.
Put it into practice: Spend a week looking for anything and everything your partner does “right.” You can even jot down anything you notice for each day if you choose.
2. Avoid making assumptions.
When people know each other for a while, they can sometimes predict how their partner is going to react. However, when couples fall into a pattern of making assumptions about each other too readily, some significant problems may follow, “Communication between partners can shut down over time. Partners may stop being curious about each other, and in fact may be making incorrect assumptions about each other that can lead to miscommunications. Additionally, people’s thoughts and experiences or even who they are can change over time. When partners make assumptions about each other they may fail to acknowledge how each has grown over time and this can create distance between them.” Continue to communicate about feelings, don’t hide your reactions, and always express what it is you need from your partner.
3. HAVE FUN
Couples who engage in exciting and enjoyable activities together have greater relationship satisfaction from before to after the shared activity. As several studies have shown, couples who play together stay together.
Put it into practice: Choose an activity with your partner that you’ve never done together before that you would both find engaging and fun, such as taking dancing lessons, staying the night at a new town and exploring it, or indoor skydiving. You can also try something with your partner that he or she enjoys that you’ve never done before.
What else is related to long-term passionate love? Sexual intimacy, shared affection, and happiness in life.
4. Focus on the positive.
Instead of focusing on flaws in your partner, which perpetuates negative feelings about the relationship, focus on the positive aspects of your partner. “It’s important to look for any positive qualities that you admire in your partner, “If you have experienced a lot of conflict in your relationship this may pose more of a challenge initially, but I encourage couples to find even small things that they can appreciate about their partner. When you have identified something that you like about your partner (e.g., their patience) it can be helpful to connect the quality with an experience that you’ve had with them. You can also reference qualities that initially attracted you to your partner or an aspect of their character that may have been demonstrated more recently.”
5. HAVE GOOD SEX
Increasing research is pointing to a great sex life as predicting better relationship satisfaction—but not the other way around. hundreds of couples to determine the relationships among sexual satisfaction, marital quality, and marital instability at midlife.
6. Play together and stay together.
Take turns planning weekly romantic date nights or date days. “Hiking, biking, skating or long walks are great things to do. Learn something new together as a couple such as wine making, snow shoeing, a cooking or dance class, Then, every couple months, even if it’s just a weekend, get away together. “Getting away from everything once a year is also a great way to stay close to each other. You can remove yourself from the everyday distractions at home and enjoy a fun new environment together. Diversity is the key to a strong relationship because things never get stale. You always have something to look forward to,” she adds.
7. BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PARTNER
Studies on appreciation in romantic relationships, shows that expressing gratitude to your partner predicts an increase in your relationship satisfaction. The gratitude you feel inside also predicts your partner’s level of satisfaction. Feeling appreciated by your partner seems to increase how much you appreciate him or her in return—which positively affects how much you feel committed to the relationship and want to do things to meet your partner’s needs.
Put it into practice: Spend time saying “thank you” and letting your partner know how much you truly value him or her. Also, remember to increase the gratitude you actually feel toward your partner, because this also makes a big difference. Reflect on why you appreciate having your partner in your life or what you would miss most if he or she were not in your life.
8. Maintain your individuality.
Each person in a healthy relationship needs to know who they are and what makes them happy. “Many times when people begin a relationship, they try to please the other person and neglect themselves in order to begin the relationship,“People ideally begin to develop who they are in childhood and build off this as they mature throughout their life. If both people have a healthy sense of self they can develop a good relationship by bringing their similar qualities as well as their differences to the relationship, and they won’t have one person dominate or overshadow the other.”
9. HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF
The relationship you have with yourself is arguably the foundation on which your other relationships are built, and studies are supporting this notion. High self-esteem predicts better relationship satisfaction, and high self-esteem of both partners is an even better predictor of strong relationship satisfaction. Moreover, people with high self-esteem appear to respond more constructively and positively during conflict when they think their partner is committed to the relationship, whereas people with low self-esteem don’t do this even when they believe their partner is committed.
Put it into practice: Like most things, increasing the quality of your relationship can take time. Begin from a place that you can believe. It’s okay if right now you have a hard time believing that you’re a worthwhile person. You don’t have to tell yourself that yet if you don’t believe it. Start by identifying at least one thing you like about yourself or one thing you’re good at doing. Then, look for other things from that starting point. Remember, more of what you look for tends to pop out, so look for not only what your partner does right, but what you do right.
10. Choose the right person.
If you really want to know the key to having a healthy relationship, it comes down to who you select to be your partner. “Selecting the right person with whom to build a relationship and share your life is half the battle, “Yes, you must find them attractive and enjoy their company, but they must also have a good heart, treat you well, and want to be with you. So don’t place all the emphasis on attraction and connection.” The bottom line is that if you’re only just physically attracted to someone and don’t really enjoy spending time with them outside of the bedroom—or if you don’t fully trust, accept, or respect them—the relationship will struggle to be healthy. Find someone else.
Some people will tell you relationships are work, and there’s some truth to that, but it’s also trivializing the matter. Relationships, and fostering healthy relationships, are about more than simply working at it. Your relationships are your life, they are living, evolving things just as you are. And as a result they should grow and change just as you do. As you grow in your relationship, keep in mind these five simple tips. And don’t forget to enjoy the ride.